Hello this section is called piece small articles. I took this idea from the articles on cracked.com. In fact this first article (divided in 5 pieces) was originally a pitch I did for cracked a while ago. It was dismissed because it was too dark. More parts coming out later this week...
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This guy was ballsy nuts! |
Ok here is something you should know about the Portuguese as a monarchic empire. These guys were the first nation that
abolished slavery and one of the first ones that abolished
death penalty too, even before the United States. Remember this, it will be important later...
Then came
António de Oliveira Salazar (known as "Salazar" to the Portuguese People), and then all the kind of shit happened...
Right
out of beginning he declared himself "O Salvador da Patria", translated
"The Savior of the Nation". Actually, he made propaganda, by photo-shopping his head in the body of
Afonso Henriques,
aka the founder of Portugal 800 freaking years before him... If you
have difficulty on picturing this, imagine Nixon making propaganda by photo-shopping his face on the body of George Washington...
But this was nothing. Oh no, this was
just the beginning... You see, Salazar risen up to the power in 1932,
right before the freaking
World War II... He was smart and he decided to become Neutral in that war... But actually he was even smarter because he
made money out of it...
Also, remember that whole thing of the Jewish holocaust? Well he out of spite gave visas to
Jew people coming out of North Europe, but
refused to let them pass with those visas in France and Spain...
During and after war neither the Allies, neither the Axis touched him,
not even Hitler... Speaking out of it, Hitler never complained that he
was giving Visa to Jews, except for one Portuguese diplomat, who was
caught doing it...
Salazar punished him by condemning him to a life of poverty... But Hitler knew it better already, because Salazar started a
colonial war with every single one of the old Portuguese African and Asian Colonies that lasted even after his own death... In fact
one Indian Operation to recover Portuguese occupied territories was so bloody that made almost 4000 Portuguese POWS in just 36 hours. (Not to talk about a civil
revolution that ended in the killing of many, and the fleeing of
many others who had rich lives there some of them Indian.)
Salazar also started his own
police force, who was in charge of
a espionage network and of manhunt, torture and kill literally everyone who was against him... Among the other achievements, he also:
faked an election only to win and kill the opposite candidate in a manhunt through Spain and paid to build a bridge in the biggest Iberian River only to
name it after himself in the end...
Oh
and before following a political career he considered a career as a
Catholic priest... Also his influence was so big in Portuguese Soil,
that recently the Portuguese People, still suffering of Stockholm
Syndrome, declared him the
"Best Portuguese who ever lived" in a Tv Show... Hitler had a lot to learn with this guy...